Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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