after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
