Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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