jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
