Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize