I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
