Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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