I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
