I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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