Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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