Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
