i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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