We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
