I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
