im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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