arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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