I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Mom said you looked used
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Randomize
