ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
