I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
