So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
