great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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