i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
