No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
