okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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