i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just pee around me
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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