sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
