Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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