no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i think i have two assholes
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
