Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
How's work?
Spinning.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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