Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so that wasnt chicken after all
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
