My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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