is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
