Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
