3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Randomize
