Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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