The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
