whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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