How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I intend to get homeless drunk
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
