I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
