Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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