I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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