i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
