I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
