Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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