Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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