Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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