Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
