you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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