Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
