Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
