she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
