I feel great
I just peed on a car
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
