i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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