dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
