and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
