p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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