Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
