honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
