Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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