Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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