I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
