hell yes lets make some ravioli
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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