I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i love accidental penises.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize