new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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